Friday, January 2, 2009

My Forever Date With My Two Dads

by Julia Smith














Happiest of New Year's to all! Hope you had a wonderful time ringing in 2009. I had a warm and cozy one while a blizzard swirled and howled outside. This is me enjoying a delectable seafood chowder made by my mom, a cozy New Year's Eve dinner for two with my husband. My favorite way to greet the future.














Here are a few shots of the storm raging outside, taken through the front door window.
















One of the things I'll be looking forward to is a new tradition I've begun with my two dads. Both of them passed away recently - my dad in March of 2007, and my father-in-law on this very day last year, Jan. 2nd, 2008.













When the first birthday for my dad rolled around on Dec. 29th, 2007 - the first without him - my husband and I were in Toronto to be with his dad who was in the hospital in the final stages of pancreatic cancer. We were just up the street along University Avenue from The Four Seasons Centre, where my beloved National Ballet of Canada had The Nutcracker in full swing.

Since my father-in-law had a steady stream of family and friends in his room to share his departure from this world with him, my husband's family sent me off with their blessing to seek a few hours of respite - to one of the purest joys of my life.

For eight years I'd worked as an usher at the O'Keefe Centre (then the Hummingbird Centre, and now the Sony Centre) for one reason only. It was the home of the National Ballet of Canada. When the ballet held its spring, fall and winter seasons, and its Christmas run of The Nutcracker, all was right in my world. Even my father-in-law waved me on my way to a happy date with my dad on what would have been his 66th birthday.


It's my intention to fill a day when my thoughts naturally turn to missing someone so very, very precious with something that brings me great joy. And so last Dec. 29th began My Date With My Dad - a glorious matinee watching my favorite ballet company with my Dad along with me, sharing my joy.






















When this Oct. 19th arrived, which would have been my father-in-law's 71st birthday, where did I find myself?


Rockin' out here in Halifax to Lenny Kravitz with my friend Annette from my writers' group.














Photo of Lenny Kravitz's Halifax concert by tvordj



I realized I'd been given another date with my other dad - my father-in-law.

How wonderful, I thought.

How perfect, I thought.
















This is a picture of my husband as a boy, talking to his dad out at their cottage in the Ottawa Valley, flanked by his sister and brother.














This is a Christmas photo from a trip back to Toronto in 2003. That's my husband and me with my father-in-law standing beside us. And Brad's brother, mom, sister, sister-in-law and our nieces.


So this Dec. 29th, where did I go with my dad for our date?


Why, to see Valkyrie, of course. I was born on Remembrance Day, and my dad served in the US Army (as a registered alien - he was a Canadian at that time, living in Michigan, but got his dual Canadian and American citizenship later in life.) From a very young age I was interested in war movies, and my dad and I used to watch them all together.


He would have loved this new film. When it was released in time for our date, I merely smiled to myself - and felt his arm around me.